HELLO PEOPLE.!

im so sorry for the lack of updates.
really occupied by work now cos i go find things to do!

open my heart
what does it mean to open my heart.?
how do you open up your heart again amidst disappointments, betrayals and all things that
cause you to have a close heart, a gurded heart, a heart that refuse to share, refuse to melt.?

the only way is to know that there is a God who loves me unconditionally, who pursues me, who moulds me, who cares for me, who helps me piece back together, who is my source of strength, who supports me, who embraces me.
who does every single thing to spur me to let me know He loves me so much, so much more.

and also,
Ezekiel 11:19 [NLT]
'And I will give them singleness of heart and put a new spirit within them. I will take away their stony, stubborn heart and give them a tender, responsive heart.'

all of us have a RESPONSIVE heart.
i can only say so much, let God touch yours.



anyway, yesterday i was feeling lonely again (it always hits at night). ):
then i read Psalms 142
David was in a cave while he wrote it.
IN A CAVE.! can you imagine.?
darkness, solitary, nothing to do, nothing to hold on to, nothing to aim for.
EXACT FEELINGS.


Psalms 142:4-5
'I look for someone to come and help me, but no one gives me a passing thought!
No one will help me; no one cares a bit what happens to me.
Then I pray to you, O Lord. I say, “You are my place of refuge.
You are all I really want in life.'


well, at that point i was "own" by God.
He knows how i feel, without me saying.
and He shows clearly exactly what i gotta and need to do.

in this season,
God keeps showing me the similarities between King David and I.
and i am astounded.



open my heart,
i want to be closer to You.

grins.
i took this from wei shun's blog.
im gonna generate 16 slogans bout mellllla.! (:
so fun and exciting.


1. What do you say to yourself every morning?
> Mella comes to those who wait

2. What do you want other people to say about you?
> We're with the Mella

3. Someone asked you out, your answer is...
> Mella not included

4. How would you answer a booty call?
> and all because the lady loves Mella

5. How would you introduce yourself to someone you really like?
> Designed for Mella

6. To someone you dislike?
> Challenge Mella

7. You're in a conversation and you suddenly feel the need to pee, how would you excuse yourself?
> There's only one Mella

8. Your parents ask you why you got home late, you say...
> Make the most of Mella

9. You're failing a subject, you say...
> Monsieur, with this Mella you are really spoiling us

10. The love of your life asks you to marry him/her, what do you say?
> For the Mella you dont't yet know

11. Your bf/gf is breaking up with you, you tell him/her...
> 151 countries, One Mella

12. Someone told you you're an asshole, you tell them...
> Everyone's favourite Mella

13. What are the best words to describe you?
> We all adore a Mella

14. If you're going to have a movie about your life, the title is...
> I'm cuckoo for Mella

15. Your last words before you die...
> Everything we do is driven for Mella

16. Your message to a special someone...
> We're with the Mella

heart of my heart.

Labels: random

wow. a week just flew by me.
im really kinda busy at work.
but its good.
at the same time, im reading up alot.
all thanks to dekguan. (:
he has really lots of good books.

i have another 2 more weeks in school b4 i go to NIE.
im gonna seize every opportunity that i have.

im still at the same platform, same stage.
God is saying the same thing.
though it changes by a little, it revolves around Him wanting to get close to me.
its been long enuogh for me to learn that there is no and will not be any substitute for God
and for who He is and what He will do in my life.

but i am still kinda quiet.
it was like yesterday's sermon.
dry bones, dead end.
i just wait and let God do something first.
but God has already done but i am still waiting.

im really thankful for all the experiences that i've gone through.
and i pray that everyone will be strong too.

oh as a footnote, i really feel like shifting from blogger.
the html is acting up like crap.
lol. but if i moved, alan will be like "MELLA YOU MOVE BLOGS 5 TIMES A YEAR!"
hahahhaa. good night everyone.

Psalms 125:4
O Lord, do good to those who are good
whose hearts are in tune with You.

I'm reading A Gentle Thunder by Max Lucado now.
God has been telling me the same thing for the whole week.
regarding His pursuit for me, despite my nonchalance, my ignorance, my unwillingness due to disappointments.
He urges me gently, telling me what He is doing and encouraging me to respond.
but i refuse to react, nor act.

Some of you might be thinking how annoying can I get.
God speaks to you and you dont want to respond.?
Well, it is really not that easy.
He knows what's going on but He wants to hear me say it for myself.
He wants me to admit it out loud.
that is something that i can't bring myself to do.
dont ask me when even i myself dont know.
perhaps today, tmr.?
but i know one day i will, but i dont know if it will be in time.


how do you get better if you've had the best.?

Labels: honest thoughts

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
and I've still got the seed

hi there.!
sorry, will update less often cos my laptop is out.
furthermore, im more occupied with work now.
and i dont really like to say much nowadays.
i feel stripped away.
be back when there's more.



You said move on, where do I go?
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay

i dont need you to question what i do.

turmoil of emotions.
ada, you're so right when you said the song is so mella. (:


intiative, cannot always only be taken by one person.
just as much as i want to know about you but you, forever remaining passive
will only caused me to move on.
even though im always the one to take the initiative, i do get tired.
dont harden you heart towards me, i am not someone who would let you down.
the reason why i am doing certain things is to prevent the flame to rekindle before the time is right.

dandelion promise; 蒲公英的约定



so hard to upload photos nowadays,
must use html code.
whats wrong with blogger.? ARGH. :/


haha, happy birthday ana. (:
i hope you have a plesant surprise and awesome celebration. (:

2nd day of work.
how was it.? unexpected.
in wad way.? ask me personally.
tired. tired. tired.
good night.

Evon, Zak and the rest who are looking for me
i think its my turn to MIA soooon.
please please,
TEXT ME, i got unlimited sms.
i will reply you faster.
SO TEXT ME. thank you. (:



一起长大的约定　
那样真心　
与你聊不完的曾经
而我已经分不清　
你是友情还是错过的爱情 ♥

i miss you every single moment.

Labels: image credits to deviantart.